


Ad Astra

by protectthesandwich



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types
Genre: Beth growing up and becoming awesome, F/M, Mitch is mentioned for half a second, Team Bonding, lots of space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 01:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5111222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectthesandwich/pseuds/protectthesandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s difficult to see the stars from the middle of San Jose and Climate Change means Beth can only make out a few from her bedroom window. What must it be like, she wonders, to see them all so clearly, like you could reach out and touch them.</p><p>A little over fifteen years later, she doesn’t need to imagine anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ad Astra

Vividly, Beth remembers her grandfather describing the moon landing to her as a child. Everyone from his apartment building had gathered in the one room with a T.V., as Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong took their first steps on the moon. It’s difficult to see the stars from the middle of San Jose and Climate Change means Beth can only make out a few from her bedroom window. What must it be like, she wonders, to see them all so clearly, like you could reach out and touch them.

A little over fifteen years later, she doesn't need to imagine anymore.

-

At high school, she keeps her head down, works hard, tries to keep out of the way. (It’s difficult sometimes, especially when she’s graduating at sixteen but Beth does her best). It’s just her and her father at home, and she knows that his life revolves around her, so Beth never lets on what all the hard work is for. Never lets on that she lies awake at night filled with an immense _want_ , for an education, to get out of where she’s lived her entire life, Beth wants to amount to more than sales manager at a napkin factory like her father.

He cries at her graduation and she thinks that she will be more for both of them.

-

Just before she heads off to MIT she wins the NASA hackathon. Code has always been like a second language to Beth, but this is the first time she witnesses what it can achieve. It makes her feel powerful, all that control at her fingertips. (When she gets to MIT, she asks whether she can get a dual degree, adding computer science to maths).

-

Her roommate is an engineer, one of those people who doesn't revise and then aces the test. She drags Beth out to a party, where Beth tries vodka and gets into an interesting conversation about Fluid Dynamics with a cute Sophomore.

Michelle drags her away after midnight. ‘He was _so_ flirting with you,’ she whispers drunkenly in Beth’s ear. Was he? Beth twists around to look at him again, but all she feels is vague disinterest. She must not be drunk enough.

-

Beth starts a company, half for fun with her friends Andy and Jiao. She spends most of her days behind a computer, eating pizza and developing software. She leaves Andy and Jiao to it after it gets off the ground and she gets sick of the room she works in. Andy tries to get her to stay, the company was her idea after all, and it does have the potential to be great. Beth doesn't doubt it but she was meant for different things.

-

She makes it to Stanford, with vague ideas of being a software engineer and working her way up to CEO. Logically that’s what she is heading towards, but Beth can’t shake feeling dissatisfied, she wants more. (She wants, she wants, she wants).

She attends a conference on advanced systems theory, taking dutiful notes whilst her mind wanders. After, she spots a SpaceX executive, Brett Parker. Never being one to miss an opportunity, Beth smiles and makes her way over to him.

-

It’s not quite CEO, but developing software for the Hermes could be worse (the coffee is pretty fantastic). Beth gets to know Rick Martinez, someone who makes her laugh involuntarily, and one of the pilots for the mission to Mars. Beth decides she finally knows what she wants.

-

Beth is the last person to be brought on board and has to push to catch up on some of the basic training. They make her take classes on medicine and survival; stretch her body to its limit. She meets Vogel in orbital mechanics where they joke in German, whilst her undergraduate degree in maths comes in useful in a whole different way.

Mark Watney is mentioned by Vogel and Martinez before she’s introduced to him in the cafeteria. Watney grins at her before turning to rib Vogel on the salad he’s eating. His good-natured joking carries on for the best part of an hour, somehow putting everyone at ease.

Watney, Vogel and Martinez call her Beth as often as they call her Johanssen, but Lewis seems indifferent and just a little cold as she sticks exclusively to the later. One Friday morning Beth joins her in the gym and Lewis hesitates but eventually puts on the Jackson Five. Soon they’re both singing along to ‘ABC’; Beth’s dad’s favourite song.

The last of the crew Beth meets is on her way home from a day of high-G training. Mitch introduces him as Dr Chris Beck, the flight surgeon and EVA specialist. (If Beth’s heart beats a little faster, she puts it down to the g-force).

-

They’re half way through the journey to Mars and Watney declares a movie night. Vogel and Martinez bicker over the best Tim Burton films, until Lewis puts on Shawshank Redemption and no-one wants to argue with her. Beck and Beth trade amused looks when Martinez cries before anyone is even in prison, but Beth avoids eye contact with anyone when the film ends, not trusting herself to keep it together. Looking around at this weird, astronaut family and the field of stars surrounding them, Beth can’t help but agree with Morgan Freeman drinking beer on a roof. For once in her life, it is wonderful to feel a little normal.

-

Mars is dirty and dangerous and delightful. Beth spends most of her time inside monitoring, but when she goes outside it’s all she can do to not just sit and look. She tries to count the stars one night, but the sky is too dense to get past ten. It’s all she could have dreamed about and when she’s staring at the rocky landscape, Beth could have sworn she feels more at peace than ever before.

-

They leave Mark behind. Nobody talks for a few hours. They sit. Beth cries a little. When they do talk, it doesn’t get much better. Beck suggests they eat and Martinez bites his head off about being insensitive and uncaring, so Beck falls silent again. Martinez is just cut up about having to be the one to push the button, and Beck is just falling back on his practical tendencies. Beth knows Beck is just as upset (she can see it in his face and the furrow of his eyebrows).

Beth eventually goes to eat dinner and sobs into her salad as she remembers the guy who cracked jokes over a cafeteria table.

-

It’s during this time, that everyone draws into themselves. Watney was by no means the most important member of the group, but without him they seem unwilling to come together. Beth spends most of her time with Chris, they talk endlessly about mythology and physics and their childhoods. Chris grew up in rural Virginia, where he could go for miles without seeing anyone; Beth grew up in a city so crowded she would knock into at least ten people walking to the end of the street.

The crew come together again; they toast Mark and laugh about his old jokes. They find comfort in living again, and if Lewis is seen staring off into space halfway through a conversation, no-one mentions it.

-

(Beth feels like floating when they find out Mark is alive. Then she remembers she can and has an overwhelming love for space again.)

-

Beth calls her Dad, who talks of nothing but her return to earth. It feels wrong without Watney to insist on a crew dinner but Beth mostly focusses on the affection in her father’s voice.

-

Mark’s empty spot at the table is more noticeable than ever as Lewis lays out the plan to bring him home. Beth thinks briefly of her father booking their favourite restaurant for her return before agreeing. She knows her father will understand; loyalty was something she inherited from him. Plus another year and a half in close proximity to Chris Beck, how could she refuse?

-

The human body is not designed to be confined in one place for a year, and sometimes it’s all Beth can do not to scream. When she becomes overwhelmed by her lack of private time, she tells everyone she’s taking an hour to herself and goes running, or she locks the door to her room and reads, or she gets Chris to describe the empty, hilly fields of his home. One day when trying to get her to calm down, Chris takes her hand and rubs his thumb against the back of her knuckles. The want fires up in Beth again, but this time completely different.

-

She has never been one for crisis, but there are moments when rescuing Mark that Beth can swear her heart stops beating. She can almost feel the weight of the world watching of them, and thinks briefly of her grandfather watching the moon landing sixty years ago. That night as they chat and eat, everything finally seems to click back into place.

-

The crew pause before exiting the Hermes for the last time. Martinez leads a group hug and Beth feels like crying (she’s probably cried more in the last three years of her life than ever before). She found a home here and letting go is harder than she thought it would be. Beth can hear Vogel’s children squealing, the paparazzi snapping pictures, people wanting to shake their hand and ask them questions. Beth is looking for her dad in the crowd when Chris takes her hand. ‘So, what’s next?’ He asks her and Beth knows her home isn't going anywhere soon.

-

They name him Peter, after Beth vetoes Ares, Hermes and Mars in quick succession. Chris concedes and they watch the Ares V launch as a family. Peter Pan may be remembered as the boy who never grew up, but Beth remembers him best as the boy who could fly. ‘You can touch the stars,’ Beth murmurs to her son.

**Author's Note:**

> Two confessions: I have not read the book (I actually saw the film a little over four hours ago) and am not incredibly well informed on space or astronaut training. Most of this knowledge comes from wikipedia, so if you spot any easy to fix errors on astronauts, characters and spelling/grammar let me know.


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